Funny Facebook
How to Look Cool With Funny Facebook Statuses
You want to look cooler? Make your friends mistake you for Chris Rock? Looking for a funny status that will instantly get you sex? Look no further – I’ll give you a status SO cool and SO funny that girls will get COMPLETELY WET INSTANTLY! Not only that, they’ll call their girlfriends – ALL of them, and suggest they BLOW you, right then and there, together! THAT’s how funny the status I’ll give you is. It’s so funny that you’ll get 500 likes, even from people that are not your friends yet. They’ll send you a Friends Request JUST so they could LIKE your ultra cool status. Enough of messing around. Listen up:
People that are COOL, for REAL – don’t TRY to be cool, they just ARE. Things that are funny and cool FOR REAL, are like that for a very, very simple reason. Because they are NATURAL. They are not fake, or try-hard. They are REAL. 100% pure, no crap – NO approval seeking.
How old are you? What is it, you want a pat on the back? You NEED someone to TELL you that you are funny and cool for you to believe it? If I tell you that you’re a loser – will you believe me. Who are you? Don’t you have a character, don’t you have an OPINION, that can be backed up by YOU, and no one else. Why do you care what other people think that much?
Funny, cool people, are funny EXACTLY because they don’t give a DAMN whether they’ll appear funny or not. That’s the reason they DO appear like that, since they don’t try. They just do what they do. To be funny, to get a girl interested in you – you have to do something with your life. If you’re not doing anything, go do something. Climb a mountain. Learn a language. Go to Tanzania. Quit your job. Be UNIQUE. UNIQUE is different. Different is interesting. Except if your a psycho with a garbage can strapped to his forehead. Stand out in a GOOD way, not a strange, attention seeking loser kind of way.
Let’s continue. Here’s a cool status: ASK A QUESTION. Why do you write a status anyway? It’s dumb when guys write a status like “getting bored at work” – or any other stupid thing where they complain. People have their own problems, they don’t want to know about yours. So DON’T MENTION THEM. Complaining WILL NOT get you sex. Ever. Period. The POINT of a Facebook status, if your goal is to get SEX (who’s isn’t?) – is to GET THE BALL ROLLING. You want to give the chicks a REASON to start a conversation with you. If a chick is interested, she’ll often NEED a reason for making contact. So give her one. ASK A QUESTION – and people will jump in to give their opinion, maybe even her.
You’ll have to SPY on your target a bit, check her out. Figure out what she’s missing in her life. Then try to grab her attention with a status that is USEFUL. Not funny, or cool – but useful. Useful in giving her the opportunity to make contact with you. Open the door for her to come into YOUR world. Instead of knocking on HER door like 98% of other LOSERS.
Check out my
Facebook Sex Guide
by
clicking here
now if you want to laid FOR REAL. Or go and jerk off to their pictures while I make their day with some unbelievable sex.
Funny Facebook and Twitter Statuses – part 1
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FARMVILLE ADDICT 1.25 Magnet $0.65 These magnets are manufactured from the highest quality materials… made of a hard metal base, thick mylar, strong magnet and true to life vibrant colors. Put them on your refrigerator, locker, file cabinet or any metal object you can think of! Magnets are great party favors for your next gathering and also make great prizes/giveaways. They are wonderful gifts for everyone!… |
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I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ZOMBIES LOVE BRAINS 1.25 Magnet $0.65 These magnets are manufactured from the highest quality materials… made of a hard metal base, thick mylar, strong magnet and true to life vibrant colors. Put them on your refrigerator, locker, file cabinet or any metal object you can think of! Magnets are great party favors for your next gathering and also make great prizes/giveaways. They are wonderful gifts for everyone!… |
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Spinning Hat Like Coffee Mug $6.39 If you consider yourself “in a relationship” with coffee or often get “poked” by the desire for more caffeine then update your status with the original Like Coffee Mug…. |
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THE REAL JERK vol.1 $14.99 The Jerk Razzler Professional Prank Phone caller looks at life as a journey to find himself. Razzler makes his living delivering papers and giving back massages at the local gym. But his favorite passion is making calls to local business to give his input  FRIEND THE JERK ON FACEBOOK NOW!This product is manufactured on demand using CD-R recordable media. Amazon.com’s standard return policy will a…
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I Could Care Less $14.99 In this live club performance, Bill Santiago takes on the news of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett dying the same day, questions the order of the Ten Commandments, declares Cinco de Mayo an official American holiday,confesses his hate for Facebook and riffs obsessively on the difference between “I could care less” and “I couldn’t care less,” while keeping the audience laughing at every “iota” of… |
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Charlie Rose – Paul Allen / John Leguizamo (April 18, 2011) $24.95 Paul Allen, philanthropist and co-founder of Microsoft on his book ‘Idea Man: A Memoir by the Cofounder of Microsoft’ || John Leguizamo on his one man show ‘Ghetto Klown’This product is manufactured on demand using DVD-R recordable media. Amazon.com’s standard return policy will apply…. |
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Funny Valentine’s Day Card Facebook Status Humor Greeting Ron Kanfi Cover Text: I’d even change my Facebook statusà Inside Text: …if you’d be my Valentine. Happy Valentine’s Day. Line Name: Hot Betty Occasion: Valentine’s Day Artist: Ron Kanfi… |
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Funny Valentines Day Card Facebook Friends Humor Greeting Ron Kanfi Cover Text: Inside Text: Will you be my Valentine? Line Name: Rabbit Ears Occasion: Valentines Day Artist: Ron Kanfi… |
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Facebook Friends Funny Dark T-Shirt by CafePress $26 You know and I know we all have friends on our facebook pages that we really can’t stand. Here’s your chance to vent without naming names. Funny Dark T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Don’t waste time deciding on which shirt to put on each morning. This dark shirt t-shirt will never go out of style and hides stains better too. This high-quality t-shirt is pre-shrunk and 100% cotton, which makes it both comfortable and durable. |
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Facebook Places Funny Dark T-Shirt by CafePress $26 Facebook Places : You are here Funny Dark T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Don’t waste time deciding on which shirt to put on each morning. This dark shirt t-shirt will never go out of style and hides stains better too. This high-quality t-shirt is pre-shrunk and 100% cotton, which makes it both comfortable and durable. |
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Facebook Places Funny Fitted T-Shirt by CafePress $26.5 Facebook Places : You are here Funny Fitted T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt For stylish weekend comfort anytime, guys will want to live in our Fitted T. Made of ultra-fine, combed ring-spun cotton, that gets softer with each washing. Lightweight for summer comfort or winter layering. Grab attention with this vintage fit that love |
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Facebook Like Funny Bib by CafePress $12 Eeewww Baby, Baby Itrsquo;s okay to make a mess in our easy-wash 100% cotton bib. It provides great upper body coverage to protect babyrsquo;s clothes. The sturdy closure makes this one-size bib fit newborns to 36 months. 100% jersey cotto Funny Bib Eeewww Baby, Baby Itrsquo;s okay to make a mess in our easy-wash 100% cotton bib. It provides great upper body coverage to protect babyrsquo;s clothes. The sturdy closure makes this one-size bib fit newborns to 36 months. 100% jersey cotto |
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Facebook Reminder Birthday – someecards – Funny Birthday Card $2.99 “Send a birthday greeting to someone so special to you that you can remember their birthday with a Facebook notification. With a touch of sardonic humor and an old fashioned cartoon, this card is sure to bring a smile to their face. 7″” x 5″” Folded Card” |
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$10 Share and stay connected with your friends with the Facebook app. Facebook makes it easy to stay connected and share with friends. Share status updates, chat with your friends, check out your News Feed, review your upcoming Events, look at your friendsâ walls and user info, upload Photos, share links, check your Messages, and watch videos. |
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Facebook Like Funny Toddler T-Shirt by CafePress $12 Our 100% cotton toddler tee will look great on your little ones.5.5 oz. 100% cottonStandard fit Funny Toddler T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Our 100% cotton toddler tee will look great on your little ones.5.5 oz. 100% cotton. Standard fit. |
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Facebook is My Job Girl Funny Women’s Dark Pajamas by CafePress $39.5 Facebook is My Job Girl For more designs like this one, please go to www.cafepress.com/littlebull Funny Women’s Dark Pajamas Get your beauty rest in style with this comfy women’s pajama set. These cozy pj’s come with your choice of a soft pink/black or white/black plaid flannel bottom, plus your choice of black or white tee top. The custom, personalized pajamas also make great |
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Facebook For Dummies $4.99 Facebook For Dummies |
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Facebook Like Funny Infant T-Shirt by CafePress $12 Keep wee ones cozy and cute in this super-soft infant tee. Made for comfort and convenience, it’s durable enough for life on the carpet and in the crib.6.1oz 100% combed ringspun cottonInterlock knit for extra durabilityTagle Funny Infant T-Shirt Keep wee ones cozy and cute in this super-soft infant tee. Made for comfort and convenience, it’s durable enough for life on the carpet and in the crib.6.1oz 100% combed ringspun cotton. Interlock knit for extra durability. Tagle |
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Like facebook Funny Hooded Sweatshirt by CafePress $45 The hoodie: the perfect utilitarian piece of clothing. Leave your hat and scarf at home Stay warm and comfy in your Pullover Hooded Sweatshirt. This hoodie is constructed with a cotton/polyester blend – both durable and comfortable.Heavyweight 90 Funny Hooded Sweatshirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt The hoodie: the perfect utilitarian piece of clothing. Leave your hat and scarf at home Stay warm and comfy in your Pullover Hooded Sweatshirt. This hoodie is constructed with a cotton/polyester blend – both durable and comfortable.Heavyweight 90 |
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Facebook Like Funny Maternity T-Shirt by CafePress $28.5 Our 100% cotton mid-weight jersey maternity tee is super soft and comfortable. A scoop neck with side seamed construction provides a perfect shape, for you and your little one.5.5 oz. 100% luxuriously soft combed ring spun cotton Scoop Funny Maternity T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Our 100% cotton mid-weight jersey maternity tee is super soft and comfortable. A scoop neck with side seamed construction provides a perfect shape, for you and your little one.5.5 oz. 100% luxuriously soft combed ring spun cotton . Scoop |
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Facebook Inbox Funny Dark T-Shirt by CafePress $26 Don’t waste time deciding on which shirt to put on each morning. This dark shirt t-shirt will never go out of style and hides stains better too. This high-quality t-shirt is pre-shrunk and 100% cotton, which makes it both comfortable and durable. Funny Dark T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Don’t waste time deciding on which shirt to put on each morning. This dark shirt t-shirt will never go out of style and hides stains better too. This high-quality t-shirt is pre-shrunk and 100% cotton, which makes it both comfortable and durable. |
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Facebook Inbox Funny Light T-Shirt by CafePress $22 This light t-shirt will be fashionable even after the zombie Apocalypse. In fact, this shirt might be the very reason you’ll survive said Apocalypse. The light color shows you aren’t worried about getting stains – and even if you were, those stains show t Funny Light T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt This light t-shirt will be fashionable even after the zombie Apocalypse. In fact, this shirt might be the very reason you’ll survive said Apocalypse. The light color shows you aren’t worried about getting stains – and even if you were, those stains show t |
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Facebook Like Funny Infant Bodysuit by CafePress $18.5 Babies love creepin’, crawlin’ and sleepin’ in our super comfy, 100% cotton jersey knit Infant Creeper. Infant clothes shouldn’t be hard to change, so our three-snap bottom helps ease those nasty diaper changes. Great baby stuff for your special little o Funny Infant Bodysuit Babies love creepin’, crawlin’ and sleepin’ in our super comfy, 100% cotton jersey knit Infant Creeper. Infant clothes shouldn’t be hard to change, so our three-snap bottom helps ease those nasty diaper changes. Great baby stuff for your special little o |
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Like facebook Funny Women’s Zip Hoodie by CafePress $39.5 It’s hip. And it zips. Which means you can look great and stay toasty-warm in this soft zip-up fleece hooded sweatshirt from Hanes. And when things heat up, it slips off with quick pull on the jam resistant zipper.8 oz. fleece blend 80% cotton/ Funny Women’s Zip Hoodie It’s hip. And it zips. Which means you can look great and stay toasty-warm in this soft zip-up fleece hooded sweatshirt from Hanes. And when things heat up, it slips off with quick pull on the jam resistant zipper.8 oz. fleece blend 80% cotton/ |
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Like facebook Funny Women’s Raglan Hoodie by CafePress $34 Our Womenrsquo;s Raglan Hoodie is sporty, stylish and ultra-soft, so it feels great against the skin. This zip up hoodie is side-seamed for a contoured fit. Itrsquo;s an easy way to look great after a workout, or hanging out in comfort. Preshrun Funny Women’s Raglan Hoodie Our Womenrsquo;s Raglan Hoodie is sporty, stylish and ultra-soft, so it feels great against the skin. This zip up hoodie is side-seamed for a contoured fit. Itrsquo;s an easy way to look great after a workout, or hanging out in comfort. Preshrun |
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Like facebook Funny Dog T-Shirt by CafePress $18 Put your pooch in his own cool doggie t-shirt from American Apparel. Hersquo;ll be the envy of all the pups in the park. Let him wear a doggie-cool design so he can express what hersquo;d like to bark out loud. Do it up in doggie style Made of Funny Dog T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Put your pooch in his own cool doggie t-shirt from American Apparel. Hersquo;ll be the envy of all the pups in the park. Let him wear a doggie-cool design so he can express what hersquo;d like to bark out loud. Do it up in doggie style Made of |
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shotdead Facebook Status T-Shirt $14.99 “Premium Quality T-Shirt. Features include: 100% cotton. Machine wash 40 degrees, do not iron print. S fits chest size 36″” – 38″”. M fits chest size 38″”- 40″”. L fits chest size 40″”- 42″”. XL fits chest size 42″”- 44″”. Get your first T-Shirt for £14.99, with each additional t-shirt costing just £11.99… Click hereto view everything else in this offer.” |
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202 Funny Computer Quotes for Facebook $0.99 Bob Underdown,NOOK Book (eBook), English-language edition,Pub by Cherry Lane Ebooks |
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202 Funny Political Quotes for Facebook $0.99 BoB Underdown,NOOK Book (eBook), English-language edition,Pub by Cherry Lane Ebooks |
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202 Funny Quotes for Facebook $0.99 202 very Funny Quotes for your Facebook Status. It’s a blast to read even if you don’t use Facebook, Twitter or My Space. A few quotes:”By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates”You can lead a horse to water But you have a heck of a time drowning him!” |
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A Year on Facebook $10.11 New – “A Year On Facebook” by Peter Carlaftes (184 pages, Three Rooms Press, 2009) is a humorous journey through the hysterical daily Facebook status updates of the author, who became a viral Jonathan Swift through his irreverent social, political and just plain “out-there” observations. An hilarious book to thumb through at random or read page-by-ROTFL-page, “A Year On Facebook” is a great gift item for anyone with a funny bone that needs tickling. It’s packed with side-splitting illustrations, |
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A Year on Facebook $6.4 New – “A Year On Facebook” by Peter Carlaftes (184 pages, Three Rooms Press, 2009) is a humorous journey through the hysterical daily Facebook status updates of the author, who became a viral Jonathan Swift through his irreverent social, political and just plain “out-there” observations. An hilarious book to thumb through at random or read page-by-ROTFL-page, “A Year On Facebook” is a great gift item for anyone with a funny bone that needs tickling. It’s packed with side-splitting illustrations, |
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Betty White 2011 Calendar $25.78 Announcing the Betty White calendar for 2011, featuring twelve glorious months of Betty, the beloved actress, comedienne, and surprisingly hot-hot-hot celebrity. At age 88, Betty White has a hit show Hot in Cleveland. Made Saturday Night Live funny again when NBC gave her the guest-host spot at the urging of a 500,000-member Facebook campaign. And starred, with Abe Vigoda, in the year ‘’s #1 Super Bowl commercial (Snickers). She is classy, earthy, unassuming, a winner of multiple Emmy awards and an outspoken advocate for animal charities. And she ‘’s got a fantastic sense of humor about herself. Now that ‘’s our kind of pin-up girl. Betty White ‘’s royalties will support Morris Animal Foundation. |
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Betty White 2011 Calendar $34.95 New – Announcing the Betty White calendar for 2011, featuring twelve glorious months of Betty, the beloved actress, comedienne, and surprisingly hot-hot-hot celebrity. At age 88, Betty White has a hit show – “Hot in Cleveland”. She made “Saturday Night Live” funny again when NBC gave her the guest-host spot at the urging of a 500,000-member Facebook campaign. She is classy, earthy, unassuming, a winner of multiple Emmy awards and an outspoken advocate for animal charities. And she’s got a fantas |
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Betty White 2011 Calendar $26.24 New – Announcing the Betty White calendar for 2011, featuring twelve glorious months of Betty, the beloved actress, comedienne, and surprisingly hot-hot-hot celebrity. At age 88, Betty White has a hit show – “Hot in Cleveland”. She made “Saturday Night Live” funny again when NBC gave her the guest-host spot at the urging of a 500,000-member Facebook campaign. She is classy, earthy, unassuming, a winner of multiple Emmy awards and an outspoken advocate for animal charities. And she’s got a fantas |
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Betty White 2011 Calendar $1.13 Used – Announcing the Betty White calendar for 2011, featuring twelve glorious months of Betty, the beloved actress, comedienne, and surprisingly hot-hot-hot celebrity. At age 88, Betty White has a hit show – “Hot in Cleveland”. She made “Saturday Night Live” funny again when NBC gave her the guest-host spot at the urging of a 500,000-member Facebook campaign. She is classy, earthy, unassuming, a winner of multiple Emmy awards and an outspoken advocate for animal charities. And she’s got a fanta |
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Betty White 2011 Calendar $5.14 Used – Announcing the Betty White calendar for 2011, featuring twelve glorious months of Betty, the beloved actress, comedienne, and surprisingly hot-hot-hot celebrity. At age 88, Betty White has a hit show – “Hot in Cleveland”. She made “Saturday Night Live” funny again when NBC gave her the guest-host spot at the urging of a 500,000-member Facebook campaign. She is classy, earthy, unassuming, a winner of multiple Emmy awards and an outspoken advocate for animal charities. And she’s got a fanta |
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Dinosaur Bones $31.87 New – A debut collection of modern contemporary poetry covering subjects of “Parenthood”, “Politics” and “Funny Old World”. The 30 poems cover many aspects of modern day life including “Facebook”, “Haldron Collider”, “LOL” and a poem about finding a weird looking potato “Heart Shaped Spud” amongst your shopping. A delightful and thought provoking look at aspects of everyday life. Elaine has been a regular contributer to Fledgling Press writers’ website … and this book brings together 30 of he |
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Dinosaur Bones $43.95 New – A debut collection of modern contemporary poetry covering subjects of “Parenthood”, “Politics” and “Funny Old World”. The 30 poems cover many aspects of modern day life including “Facebook”, “Haldron Collider”, “LOL” and a poem about finding a weird looking potato “Heart Shaped Spud” amongst your shopping. A delightful and thought provoking look at aspects of everyday life. Elaine has been a regular contributer to Fledgling Press writers’ website … and this book brings together 30 of he |
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Domo In The World $12.95 Domo is the funny, square-ish, brown creature that began life as a mascot for a Japanese TV network, but who has blown up into a beloved international phenomenon. His fuzzy, grinning mug has appeared everywhere from plush toys to figurines, T-shirts to key-chains, as well as on more than one million fansites and on his official Facebook page, where he has made over 230,000 friends. But Domo has never had his own book . . . until now.Featuring original photography and haiku, Domo in the World shows our plush hero making his way through the world, whether flying a kite (or is the kite flying him?), wooing a pillow that looks suspiciously familiar, or eating anything in sight. At last, there’’s a witty and quirky love letter to the inimitable little guy who’’s dug by fans of all ages around the globe. |
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Domo in the World $7.66 New – Domo is the funny, square-ish, brown creature that began life as a mascot for a Japanese TV network, but who has blown up into a beloved international phenomenon. His fuzzy, grinning mug has appeared everywhere from plush toys to figurines, T-shirts to key-chains, as well as on more than one million fansites and on his official Facebook page, where he has made over 230,000 friends. But Domo has never had his own book . . . until now.Featuring original photography and haiku, “Domo in the Wo |
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Domo in the World $6.54 Used – Domo is the funny, square-ish, brown creature that began life as a mascot for a Japanese TV network, but who has blown up into a beloved international phenomenon. His fuzzy, grinning mug has appeared everywhere from plush toys to figurines, T-shirts to key-chains, as well as on more than one million fansites and on his official Facebook page, where he has made over 230,000 friends. But Domo has never had his own book . . . until now.Featuring original photography and haiku, “Domo in the W |
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Domo in the World $6.56 New – Domo is the funny, square-ish, brown creature that began life as a mascot for a Japanese TV network, but who has blown up into a beloved international phenomenon. His fuzzy, grinning mug has appeared everywhere from plush toys to figurines, T-shirts to key-chains, as well as on more than one million fansites and on his official Facebook page, where he has made over 230,000 friends. But Domo has never had his own book . . . until now.Featuring original photography and haiku, “Domo in the Wo |
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Domo in the World $7.54 Used – Domo is the funny, square-ish, brown creature that began life as a mascot for a Japanese TV network, but who has blown up into a beloved international phenomenon. His fuzzy, grinning mug has appeared everywhere from plush toys to figurines, T-shirts to key-chains, as well as on more than one million fansites and on his official Facebook page, where he has made over 230,000 friends. But Domo has never had his own book . . . until now.Featuring original photography and haiku, “Domo in the W |
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Don’t Write Like You Talk: A Smart Girl’s Guide to Practical Writing and Editing $5.22 Used – OMG: Don’t write like you talk! We live in a culture saturated by improper English and grammar where continual text messages, incoherent posts on Twitter or Facebook, and poorly written e-mails pass as writing. Well, time to toss out those embarrassing grammar errors and change your ‘naughty’ (a.k.a. lazy) writing ways. Smart girls who are ready to improve their writing will not only laugh their way through this funny, entertaining, and informative book, but also learn tips and tricks so |
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Don’t Write Like You Talk: A Smart Girl’s Guide to Practical Writing and Editing $14.95 OMG: Don’t write like you talk! We live in a culture saturated by improper English and grammar where continual text messages, incoherent posts on Twitter or Facebook, and poorly written e-mails pass as writing. Well, time to toss out those embarrassing grammar errors and change your “naughty” (a.k.a. lazy) writing ways. Smart girls who are ready to improve their writing will not only laugh their way through this funny, entertaining, and informative book, but also learn tips and tricks so they can stand out from the spelling- and grammar-error crowd and earn a promotion, earn the respect of their peers with beautifully written e-mails, impress the boss with well-written reports, and polish their writing skills. Don’t Write Like You Talk helps writers of all skill levels understand basic principles to improve all writing, from e-mails to blogs—and from short stories to novels. |
February 9, 2012 3:18 pm 
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