Priest Jokes

How to Find Good Jokes Anywhere

How do you keep a blonde in suspense? Anyway, there is a whole bunch of ways to find good jokes for just about any occasion. It is really just a question of who your audience is going to be. Canon printer geeks go to conventions, politicians go to their lobbyist. Get it? Politicians/ lobbyists… well there’s no accounting for taste. So, head for the people that you want to make fun of. Most people have a pretty good sense of humor and are ready to laugh at themselves.

What are 10,000 lawyers buried up to their heads in sand? Not enough sand. Of course books are always a good place to look. But really, finding a good joke is about being in the right place at the right time. The best jokes really just sort of happen. Not all of us are Robin Williams’s types that can write the stuff.

The real trick to finding a good joke is finding the right place and audience to tell the joke. A joke intended for somebody facing 10 years in prison is not the joke to be telling a Rabbi on the mount. Oh, did you hear about the Priest the Monk and the Rabbi who went into a bar? This is for Blonde …ah…readers that are still thinking about the first eight words at the start of this article. Oh, and that is all of the fingers on your right hand and all but the pinky and wedding ring finger on the left hand.

So, where were we? Audience, the type of people you are around will dictate the type of joke you get. A men’s locker room will get one type of joke while a bridal shower will get another type of joke. What did Jesus say to the little short guy after he banked his golf ball off of a tree, two bids and a squirrel for a hole in one? Nice shot Dad.

Poking fun also works well if a little competition is going on. If there is a wide perception about a group of people, regardless of how big that group happens to be, there are likely going to be jokes floating around about that group. Competing schools for instance; what happened when Joe, the football player, transferred from UCLA to USC? The GPA for both schools went up. And now, to complete the running gag for blondes, the answer to; how do you keep blondes in suspense is.

About the Author

James Kara Murat from PrintCountry.com, the contributor of PrintCountry FAQ. A longer version is located at How to Find Good Jokes Anywhere, and related resources at PrintCountry Printer Ink Cartridges Funny Stuff and Jokes.

Mother Fucker, Cannibal, and Priest Jokes.

The Jesus Toaster $34.95 Creates Image of Jesus Christ on your daily bread. Great Christmas Gift…

Greatest Hits $8.99 …

O Isis und Osiris: Ensemble 11 Plays Mozart $16.15 …

South Park: The Cult of Cartman – Revelations $17.54 SOUTH PARK:CULT OF CARTMAN – DVD Movie…

ABSTINENCE MAKES THE CHURCH GROW FONDLERS Pinback Button 1.25 Pin / Badge Catholic Priest Joke $0.79 …

I Heart (Love) Priests Men’s Tee Shirt in 12 colors Small thru 6XL Great looking 100% cotton shirt. Please refer to our sizing chart for measurements.This design also available as a women’s tee shirt, and a men’s hoodie and sweat shirt in our other amazon.com listings….

I Heart (Love) Priests Men’s Sweat Shirt in 2 colors Small thru 3XL Great looking 50/50 shirt. Please refer to our sizing chart for measurements.This design also available as a men’s or women’s tee shirt, and a men’s hoodie in our other amazon.com listings….

The Fighting Nun – The Boxing Sister puppet! $8.32 Forgive us, WHACK Punching nun puppet: She’s got a habit of ?ghting for what’s right! Suited in her traditional habit, our most popular punching puppet comes out swinging with ?nger-activated arms that move independently and a spring-action head that bobs and weaves. 12″ (30.5 cm) tall. Bagged with illustrated header. 12″ tall Great gift for someone with an eccentric sense of humor! Free your…

Jokes $16.2 Jokes

Priest $21.99 Priest

The Priest $11.2 The Priest

Booklover’s Book of Jokes, Quips & Quotes $9.67 Do your jokes begin something like “So, a guy walks into a bar . . .” or “A priest, a minister, and a rabbi . . ?” Tired of the same-old formulaic humor and worn-out riddles? Well, you’re in luck. The Booklover’s Book

Bones & Jokes $11.16 Bones & Jokes

Jokes to Go $14.24 Jokes to Go

Awesome Jokes $3.77 Awesome Jokes

Dirty Jokes $11.55 Dirty Jokes

The Casino of Jokes $20.87 The Casino of Jokes

These Are Jokes $12.78 Taking Steven Wright’s style of letting the absurdist one-liners fly, standup whiz kid Demetri Martin puts an indie spin on Wright’s shtick and then breaks the act up with some weird, delicate songs featuring Glockenspiel, guitar, and synth. Mostly straight live standup with a couple studio concoctions tacked on the end, the audio portion of These Are Jokes is hilarious with Martin effortlessly delivering endless streams of strangeness and irreverence while occasionally referencing the recording of his debut CD to the audience with such giddy pride you just want to pinch his cheek. The way Martin sees it, life vests protect you from drowning, bulletproof vests protect you from getting shot, and sweater vests protect you from pretty girls. Swimming is interesting because “sometimes you do it for fun, while other times you do it to not die.” The great song “Sames and Opposites” offers “A squirrel is the same as a can/When there’s a B.B. gun in my hand” while Saturday Night Live cast member Will Forte shows up for some crazy scatting and ridiculous vocal vamping on “Personal Information Waltz.” The studio tracks at the end are bizarre — more Residents than They Might Be Giants bizarre — and the bonus DVD features some freaky animation, along with a less satisfying set of standup from a less comfortable sounding Martin. Still, it’s a bonus; and a bonus to a fantastic debut CD from the quirkier, smarter side of standup. ~ David Jeffries, Rovi

Priest-Pope $139.99 Priest-Pope

401 Plus E-Mail Jokes You Can Tell Your Pastor, Priest Or Rabbi $25.15 New

401 Plus E-Mail Jokes You Can Tell Your Pastor, Priest Or Rabbi $31.95 New

A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi: A Joe King Book $8.53 New – These two clever joke books are uniquely shaped to represent their subject matter, and they contain the best of the best jokes on two classic topics: drinking in bars and religion. Time-tested and often repeated, these categories never go out of date and are added to frequently. It’s no wonder drinking and religion are the enduring centerpieces of so many movies, TV shows, and stand-up comedy skits. With universal appeal, these jokes are always great ice-breakers and sure to bring on fits

A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi: A Joe King Book $8.89 New – These two clever joke books are uniquely shaped to represent their subject matter, and they contain the best of the best jokes on two classic topics: drinking in bars and religion. Time-tested and often repeated, these categories never go out of date and are added to frequently. It’s no wonder drinking and religion are the enduring centerpieces of so many movies, TV shows, and stand-up comedy skits. With universal appeal, these jokes are always great ice-breakers and sure to bring on fits

A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi: A Joe King Book $12.95 This clever joke book is uniquely shaped to represent the subject matter, and it contains the best of the best jokes on the classic topic: religion. Time-tested and often repeated, this category never goes out of date and is added to frequently. It’’s no wonder religion is the enduring centerpiece of so many movies, TV shows, and stand-up comedy skits. With universal appeal, these jokes are always great ice-breakers and sure to bring on fits of laughter. Filled with some old ones, some new ones, and even some blue ones, A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi . . . will have you laughing till you cry and flipping the pages for more.

Booklover’s Book of Jokes, Quips & Quotes $12.95 Do your jokes begin something like So, a guy walks into a bar . . . or A priest, a minister, and a rabbi . . ? Tired of the same-old formulaic humor and worn-out riddles? Well, you”re in luck. The Booklover’’s Book of Jokes, Quips and Quotes spans centuries to provide a collection chock-full of bookish humor, pithy sayings, one-liners, and just plain silly thoughts. With sections from some of the masters of witty writing, including the best barbs from Oscar Wilde; insults from Shakespeare; and wise words from Jane Austen, John Milton, and P. G. Wodehouse, this jovial little book is a cornucopia of delight and light relief for literary lovers everywhere. The jokes range from the erudite to the puerile and are sure to entertain–and, in the right hands, might even turn a bookish sort into the life of the party.

Jackie The Joke Man Martling’s Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book $0.99 They’re all here!, the hooker, the drunk, the proctologist, the little old lady, the midget, the traveling salesman, the black guy, the Jewish mother, dirty Johnny, the redneck, Helen Keller, the Polish girl, the Chinese couple, the two lesbians, the priest, the horny divorceé, Confucious, the rabbi, Schmidlap… Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling knows them all and more. Here are the gems from the private files of the head writer and cast member of The Howard Stern Show — the man infamous for knowing every joke there ever was. In comedy clubs from coast to coast, Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling has dared audiences to start a joke he couldn’t finish. Now he takes no prisoners, spares no ethnic or social group, and exhibits not one ounce of good taste in this wildly offensive, all-inclusive, and outrageously funny collection of dirty jokes. We hope you like this book, and if you don’t we hope that the next time you bite into a jelly doughnut, there’s a string hanging out of it.

Kingdom Of The Cats $24.13 Kingdom of the Cats is a variation upon an old theme. India Crowley, an eccentric young woman, has pretended to be a witch for years and is the butt of jokes in the apartment complex in which she lives. One Halloween night, against the advice from her friends, she crosses the line between make-believe and serious witchcraft. After suffering ridicule from the tenets at Shadow Brook Arms, India manages to invoke the dark forces and castes a spell upon her antagonists, turning twelve young men and women into cats. Naturally, all twelve cats, who communicate by telepathy, reflect their human personalities, ranging over several breeds of cats. But soon time begins to run out for them as they search for a counter spell. A preacher, a defrocked priest, a would-be sorcerer and a “white witch” work together to find a cure before the felines lose their humanity entirely and mentally become one hundred percent cats.

Les Smith $49.99 High Quality Content by WIKIPEDIA articles! Les ‘Lecter’ Smith is an English keyboard player. He originally did session work on keyboards for the British band Anathema on their 1996 album Eternity before joining extreme metal band Cradle of Filth. During his time in Cradle of Filth (1997-1999), his stage persona consisted of wearing a custom Vicar Priest top, black leather trousers and goth make-up. He played keyboards in two of Cradle’s releases: Cruelty and the Beast and From the Cradle to Enslave. Les Smith was also a member (along with drummer Mike Heaton, guitar Mince, & vocals by Stag & Azzy), of the riotous band The Tourettes, which in turn was a spin off from the highly controversial Batley based thug band “The Healey Beats”. Post-Cradle of Filth, he accused only original band member Dani Filth of considering it his own solo project (“Dani and the Filths” he jokes). Les, like many other Cradle’ members, is a northern person from England, and has appeared in video and interview on Cradle of Filth’s 1999 DVD ‘Pandaemonaeon’.

Live at the El Rey $14.98 For the uninitiated, the odd intro in the dressing room prior to this performance by Stephen Lynch may be a bit disconcerting, but the good-looking folk-rock comedian’s twisted material, Jonathan Richman in the Twilight Zone, is humorous and translates well to video. “Special” — about his friend “Ed” — whose mother dropped him on his head — (get it? “Special Ed” as in those who need special education) could’ve been composed after reading The Best Of Sick Jokes Vol. 16, and as one delves deeper into Lynch Live at the el Rey they will find so much sophomoric humor that pacing the viewing may become mandatory. The concert is repeated with a Mystery Science Theater 3000-styled narration by Lynch, his brother Drew and partner-in-crime Mark Teich. A novel idea and for those into jokes about drugs, homosexuality, Jim Carrey facial contortions, a microphone being sexually assaulted during a song called “Priest” — well, nothing is left to the imagination and the mostly one-word titles don’t deviate from what you expect from them. Where Lou Reed gave the world “Heroin” and “Jesus”; Stephen Lynch offers “Gay” and the highly sacrilegious “Craig” (or more specifically f-ing “Craig” Christ). There are tons of bonus items on this DVD — additional live takes, studio takes, photos of set lists and song lyrics, as well as a “Video Tour Diary” which will really test your patience. A bit overwhelming, imagine the Beastie Boys hosting the Howard Stern Show with folk guitars for days on end, but Stephen Lynch is an accomplished musician, has the look, does go overboard a few too many times, yet finds a way to deliver the punch line in an effective way. There’s plenty of profanity — and outbursts — sprinkled throughout. ~ Joe Viglione, Rovi

Overheard at the Country Cafe: A Collection of More Than 500 Good Clean Jokes You Can Tell Your Preacher, Priest, or Rabbi $0.99 New – Reminisce magazines (totaling nearly 5 million people) are sure to recognize the signs: A sparkle in the eyes, a lighthearted smile and cheeks flushed from hearty laughter. It’s that carefree look folks get right after they’ve been reading the magazine’s popular humor pages.Anyone who enjoys good clean fun will surely love our brand-new, wholesome joke book, Overheard at the Country Cafe.

Overheard at the Country Cafe: A Collection of More Than 500 Good Clean Jokes You Can Tell Your Preacher, Priest, or Rabbi $5.19 New – Reminisce magazines (totaling nearly 5 million people) are sure to recognize the signs: A sparkle in the eyes, a lighthearted smile and cheeks flushed from hearty laughter. It’s that carefree look folks get right after they’ve been reading the magazine’s popular humor pages.Anyone who enjoys good clean fun will surely love our brand-new, wholesome joke book, Overheard at the Country Cafe.

Rokes And Jiddles Ii $28.53 Need a laugh? Who doesn’t? Look inside for a random collection of hundreds of jokes that will make you grin, giggle and guffaw. These are the kinds of jokes you can share with your kids, your maiden aunt and even your priest (if he or she has a sense of humour). This book collects some of the best jokes in the world, from many sources, comedy shows and my mates down the pub. OK, some have been ‘cleaned’, but the humor is still there which, I guess, shows that you do not need strong language to make you laugh. You will find well over 1000 jokes, 280 riddles and 100 quotes for all occasions. There are howlers, groaners, one-liners, quotes, foot-in-mouth, and some beyond all comprehension. Go on – dip in and brighten your day – or someone else’s.

Rokes and Jiddles $12.24 Used – Need a laugh? Who doesn’t? Look inside for hundreds of jokes that will make you grin, giggle and guffaw. These are the kinds of jokes you can share with your kids, your maiden aunt and even your priest (if he or she has a sense of humour). This book collects some of the best jokes in the world, from many sources, comedy shows and my mates down the pub. OK, some have been ‘cleaned’, but the humour is still there which, I guess, shows that you do not need bad language to make you laugh. BUT

Rokes and Jiddles $18.03 Used – Need a laugh? Who doesn’t? Look inside for hundreds of jokes that will make you grin, giggle and guffaw. These are the kinds of jokes you can share with your kids, your maiden aunt and even your priest (if he or she has a sense of humour). This book collects some of the best jokes in the world, from many sources, comedy shows and my mates down the pub. OK, some have been ‘cleaned’, but the humour is still there which, I guess, shows that you do not need bad language to make you laugh. BUT

Scary Movie 3 (Full Screen) $5 Three times the laughs! Three times the terror! Three times the stars! Charlie Sheen ( Two and A Half Men ), Anna Faris (Scary Movie 1 & 2), Eddie Griffin (My Baby’s Daddy), Queen Latifah (Chicago), Regina Hall (Scary Movie 1 & 2), and Denise Richards (Undercover Brother) take Scary Movie 3 to unprecedented levels of hysterically twisted comedy. With the help of nonstop celebrity cameos–including Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, George Carlin, Leslie Nielsen, and a who’s who of rap artists–thrillers, blockbusters, and pop culture get their best goosing yet. A news anchorwoman (Faris) investigates a killer videotape that’s making its way around town, digs into a mysterious crop circle on an ex-priest’s farm, and falls in love with a wannabe white rapper! Rapid-fire jokes and funny bone-chilling suspense are sure signs this outrageous comedy will have you laughing your head off.

The Booklovers Book of Jokes, Quips and Quotes $7.98 New – Do your jokes begin something like “So, a guy walks into a bar . . .” or “A priest, a minister, and a rabbi . . ?” Tired of the same-old formulaic humor and worn-out riddles? Well, you’re in luck. “The Booklover’s Book of Jokes, Quips and Quotes “spans centuries to provide a collection chock-full of bookish humor, pithy sayings, one-liners, and just plain silly thoughts. With sections from some of the masters of witty writing, including the best barbs from Oscar Wilde; insults from Shakesp

The Booklovers Book of Jokes, Quips and Quotes $3.67 New – Do your jokes begin something like “So, a guy walks into a bar . . .” or “A priest, a minister, and a rabbi . . ?” Tired of the same-old formulaic humor and worn-out riddles? Well, you’re in luck. “The Booklover’s Book of Jokes, Quips and Quotes “spans centuries to provide a collection chock-full of bookish humor, pithy sayings, one-liners, and just plain silly thoughts. With sections from some of the masters of witty writing, including the best barbs from Oscar Wilde; insults from Shakesp

The Jesus Jokebook $14.67 It’’s fairly clear that God has a sense of humour: you only have to look at some of his creations to see it! How often have you wanted to say something witty about the son of God when you”re slumped in your pew in church, waiting for the priest to hurry up and finish his sermon? Now all your prayers are answered! For the first time ever, here is a book dedicated to jokes about Jesus.

The Jesus Jokebook $0.65 Used – It’s fairly clear that God has a sense of humour: you only have to look at some of his creations to see it! How often have you wanted to say something witty about the son of God when you’re slumped in your pew in church, waiting for the priest to hurry up and finish his sermon? Now all your prayers are answered! For the first time ever, here is a book dedicated to jokes about Jesus.