Wedding Jokes
Wedding Speech-Writing Lessons from a Lion in Love by Sean Wilkinson
Let me tell you a story:
“A Lion once fell in love with a beautiful maiden and proposed marriage to her parents. The old people did not know what to say. They did not want to give their daughter to the Lion, yet they did not want to enrage the King of Beasts. At last the father said: “We feel highly honoured by your Majesty’s proposal, but we see our daughter is a tender young thing, and we fear that in the vehemence of your affection you might possibly do her some injury. Might I venture to suggest that your Majesty should have your claws removed, and your teeth extracted, then we would gladly consider your proposal again”. The Lion was so much in love that he had his claws trimmed and his big teeth taken out. But when he came again to the parents of the young girl they simply laughed in his face and bade him do his wildest.”
This gem features one of my favourite euphemisms ever – “vehemence of affection” – and it also offers quite a bit about good writing:
1. People enjoy stories about people – even about people (and big cats) they don’t know.
2. A classic story encompasses a unity of purpose, which includes a beginning that hooks your interest (“A Lion once fell in love with a beautiful maiden”), a middle that holds your attention (“claws removedâ
January 20, 2012 3:46 am 
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